Hey man sorry I got all grabby
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
