What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
