I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
