I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to make out with him forever
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
