So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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