Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You are the jesus of drinking
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
