worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize