it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
