puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
