grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
