Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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