About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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