he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
