hotel room ftw
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
