Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
operation have a gay friend backfired
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
God, I missed his penis.
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