There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize