I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
