I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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