redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
