You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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