Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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