You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
