so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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