Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
