Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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