making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
