put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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