you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize