I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
