i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
