Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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