Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
