can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
