When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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