Cold hands, warm shart.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
do nipples grow back?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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