i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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