Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
