Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize