Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
