he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
