I molested 6 butterflies tonight
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
