idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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