So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
