I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
