apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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