Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
