So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
