i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
