I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
