I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize