i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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