I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
