4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
