the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
last night I used snow as a chaser
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize