pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
