Have you finally orgasmed yet?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Please, let me fuck your mom
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
