this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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