Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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