It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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