Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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