That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
