wakey wakey hands off snakey
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've blown a few things in my day
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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