Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
